Worry About Appearance: Things that you can do

Get to know yourself and your thought patterns better

The first step in dealing with preoccupations is to make yourself aware of how precisely you tend to think. Are there times when you are particularly concerned about your appearance? Why might this be? Are there other times when you do not worry about it? Why does this happen? A bit of self- analysis in this way may help you to see a pattern.

Create a break in the routine of preoccupation

If there is a specific pattern, look for ways of modifying it. For example if you find you spend a lot of time studying yourself in the mirror when you wake up and so upset yourself, consider putting off looking in the mirror until you are dressed and ready to leave. Many people find it hard to decide what to wear in the morning. Choose your clothes the night before, and discipline yourself to put them on in the morning even if you feel less certain of your choice. If you find yourself comparing yourself with the famous and beautiful in films, challenge yourself to concentrate on the plot and how you would act in their place rather than on their appearance.

Question your self-punishing thoughts

We cannot change our thinking overnight. However, we can begin to stop summarily condemning ourselves without even giving ourselves a fair trial. When you are feeling negative about your appearance, practice listing the positive things about yourself and the perfectly good reasons why you may not be looking your best at that moment. Be creative in inventing as many virtues and excuses as you can. You may not immediately change your mind, but at least you will be beginning to be fair to yourself.

Be kind to yourself and practice self-acceptance

This is one of those things that is much easier to say than do. Many of us have developed an ingrained habit of self-reproach and are far less caring and accepting of ourselves than we are of our friends. You can however make a start. Try to spend up to fifteen minutes each day being kind to yourself. When you decide to do something to pamper yourself - whether it is listening to music, having a snack, relaxing in a bath, talking on the phone or whatever - do it wholeheartedly and undistractedly. It will probably feel uncomfortable and self-indulgent at first, but try and persist until it becomes a habit.

Deal with depression

If the symptoms of depression such as lethargy, hopelessness, tearfulness and self-reproach persist, do seek separate help. We have a leaflet on depression; both counselling and medication are possible and effective treatments.

Counselling

Anyone suffering from a preoccupation about themselves can experience great loneliness and unhappiness and can feel very trapped. Counselling will give you a chance to explore your worries in a friendly, supportive atmosphere and to consider ways of becoming more comfortable with you feelings. Contact Christine Davison on 0114 222 4134 if you would like to make an appointment with the University Counselling Service.